Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Being a mom is a great excuse...

I saw this on a blog - and I laughed because these statements are OH SO TRUE!

1. Being a mom is a great excuse. You can buy treats, make treats, have treats on hand “for the kids.” No one will question your pantry stocked with Cocoa-Puffs. (Hmmm - the ding dong 24 pack from Costco?!!? Frozen cookie dough "just in case"!)

2. Kids are a good hobby (? strange word to use, but you understand the idea) because they strip you of pride and make you seem more patient than you really are. You aren’t cool, and your kids remind you of that. You might get a big head if you weren’t constantly told “you talk to me too much” or “your bum’s too big to sit on that chair!” (hypothetically speaking, of course) The more kids you have, the more patient you seem to strangers, when the exact opposite is probably true. It’s just a funny assumption we all make, and I’m okay with it.

Seriously, people do sometimes think that the more kids you have, the more patient you MUST be, not so.
There are times when what I think is funny and "hip" and "with it" and then I go ahead and talk about it with my teens. This action can be met with heads turned in embarrassment and a groaning "Wooowww Mom!" (Ernie does this best and it has become a trademark of his that we all long to copy but never will -according to him!)

Being a mom is where I know I need to be - come what may in this crazy world we live in. Whether it is the tedious job that is done over and over again for these little people, or a once in a lifetime experience that I know was a "you had to be there" thing, I am happy and fulfilled as I watch them grow and begin to take their places as good people in society. I am grateful to have a small part in helping them become their best. Ahh, the perfect thoughts for a perfect day... now back to reality and the HARD, EXHAUSTING job of being MOM.
Yes, I figured this one out by myself. The beach is always the right choice no matter the season. Stay tuned.

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Please send me info about where everyone is getting their very cute blog backgrounds. I am in need...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Too Many Thoughts...

I find myself thinking about things and that I should blog them, but I always (lately) seem to lack the time to sit down and get that accomplished... here I go...

Last week while lying in bed and talking quietly in the night, R told me about an experience he had just that evening. He helps coach Tbone's football team and another coach said to him that he would not be there for the next two practices. He then proceeded to tell R why. He talked about the stress they had been having with their teenage daughter for along time. Nothing was working and she was set to move out and live with her 21 year old boyfriend in 3 weeks once she turned 18. With no other options, they contacted one of the wilderness groups for wayward teens and the next morning at 5 am they were coming to take her. No notice, no warning for the daughter. Handcuffs if necessary. My heart went out to the mother, wondering did anyone know her struggles? I woke up 3 times through the night thinking about this mother and praying she would be okay. I cannot imagine getting to this last resort in dealing with an out of control child.

She continued to stay on my mind and in my heart for the next 3 days - until after sacrament meeting yesterday. I saw a lady who I needed to visit with and I went up to her and asked how she was doing. We began to talk and she told me she had been watching some friend's children over the weekend while they dealt with their daughter out of town. Amazingly, I asked if she was referring to this family and she was. She knows them quite well and I immediately felt such comfort, and recognized a tender mercy in my life reminding me again that our Heavenly Father knows everything about us and how best to help us. I felt comforted that their needs were known by a few others who loved them. I asked my friend at church to give this woman an extra hug the next time she saw her. She did and called me today to share more of this event. After we had talked about this, this woman then began to tell me of the struggles she was having with her own daughter. I never knew what burdens she was carrying around and I never would have guessed. I listened as she talked and then cried. It is not easy to open up and admit things are not going perfectly. I am glad she did for a moment and I hope that I was able to lift up a small part of her burden for a moment.

Needless to say, this has been on my mind. When that happens, I know there is a reason. I have been making calls, seeking others who may be suffering in silence. I write this down only so that I will be accountable for this decision. I don't talk about it to be prideful but to wonder how many of us are in need of understanding and compassion without judgement? I know I have needed it. I am trying to put my own small struggles to the side and concentrate on helping others. Doing this is not easy as opening this Pandora's box identifies a lot of need.

I have added some personal notes from a stake Relief Society leadership meeting that I went to last week (the same day that R told me about his conversation) that would benefit all women. I have also added my favorite quote from President Uchtdorf from the General Relief Society meeting in September:

"In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers" (President Uchtdorf, General Relief Society Meeting, September 2008).

From the Leadership meeting:
A. We have to be there for each other
· Remember covenants that we made at baptism (mourn with those that mourn, etc)
· We need to talk to each other rather than suffer in silence
· We have to get real and be approachable – we are not perfect, we all have difficult times in our marriages, some have wayward children, many struggles for all of us
· Let go of the "Hi, how are you? Fine! Great, see you later", we all need more

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Grandma Kola is dying...

It has been a sad few days around here. Patch's very old - well she has lived at our house for almost 3 years - and very loved hamster Kola is slowly (very) dying. I wanted Spice man to check this morning to see if she had passed, but no, when gently jiggled, she is still breathing. This has been hard for Patch to watch and she has shed many, many tears during this death watch. We have also had many good conversations about a loving Heavenly Father and his creations for us to love and enjoy. There is a place in heaven for beloved pets. Many tender prayers have been given during this week by my daughter. I am strengthened by her simple faith in a Father who hears and answers ALL prayers.

I can't imagine a more loved hamster than Grandma Kola. She grew happpily plump on the many treats that were left for her in her cage. She took many mini vacations around our house in her ball. She has a fun cage and was able to reside in Spice man's office (that is love!) where she was able to be loved more frequently by Patch and her friends. With the death of her first hamster and now the pending death of Grandma Kola, Patch has decided that she is moving out of the hamster pet business. She said it is too hard to have them die so quickly.

I fear an era is coming to a close and my youngest is growing up in an almost indiscernable way. Who else loves to skip through Pet Smart and lovingly gaze and wish for every kind of creature they house there?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thoughts on Family

I copied and pasted these quotes from my friend's blog (thanks Pedaling, I hope you don't mind). They bear repeating as each week there seems to be something else demanding our time and efforts that could take us away from the most important thing - family.

“But whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.” Barbara Bush

“To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes. Many societies give parents very little support in teaching and honoring moral values. A number of cultures are becoming essentially valueless, and many of our younger people in those societies are becoming moral cynics.” James E. Faust
“We should not let their choices weaken our faith. Our worthiness will not be measured according to their righteousness. Lehi did not lose the blessing of feasting at the tree of life because Laman and Lemuel refused to partake of its fruit.” Robert D. Hales

“Each family has its own special circumstances. But the gospel of Jesus Christ addresses every challenge –which is why we must teach it to our children.” Robert D. Hales

“One of the greatest tests for parents and leaders is to love the one who seems to be unlovable. This is tough duty. It stretches the heartstrings and wrenches the soul. When heartbroken parents pray for help, the help often comes in the form of angel aunts or uncles, grandmas or grandpas, good friends and leaders surrounding our loved one. They can reinforce our very message that may put our child on the track we’ve been praying for.” James E. Faust